woah, tag your death note spoilers
TSA: are u carrying any firearms or explosives?
Me: *points to crotch* u mean this bomb pussy?
TSA: why do u always do this?
The thing about this is that sculptures like these in art history were for the male gaze. Photoshop a phone to it and suddenly she’s seen as vain and conceited. That’s why I’m 100% for selfie culture because apparently men can gawk at women but when we realize how beautiful we are we’re suddenly full of ourselves…
DM: You now believe you are a tree.
Me: I attempt photosynthesis.
DM: Uh, OK. Give me a d20 roll.
(rolls a 20)
DM: … You heal 1 HP.
(I submitted an incorrect version of this one. My bad, this is correct.)